Dear Aunt Flo,

I hope this letter meets you well,
or not!.

One would think after the torture you made me go through last month, you would pardon my unknown sins this month.
But here you are again.

Now I am stuck in the toilet as always, lying on my stomach while I roll back and forth in a bid to suppress the unwelcoming pain.
I have popped my own share of pills trying to make you go away,
I have cried and begged while wishing you come another day.

Still, you’d slip your visit on days I need to be active and render me useless,
you’d make my newly-laid bedspread taste of your woes by soaking it in viscous liquid so red.

You make me so irritable, and you curse me with mood swings whenever you come around. Aunt Flo, why are you so acrimonious?

What exactly are you punishing me for, aunt Flo?

It’s so sad though,
that no matter how much I hate you, I get extremely paranoid when I don’t see you on time…
How paradoxical!

Since I can’t avoid you for now, aunt flo, do me sofri oh¹.
Spare me the rods for some few months at least. This is me trying not to push my luck too far Aunt Flo.
Let me feel like God’s favorite too.

With hate,
Akinmoladun Precious,
Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State, NIGERIA.

Chief speaker,
Association of Ladies that suffer from dysmenorrhea, worldwide.

Glossary:

1) Do me sofri oh

origin: Pidgin English.

Meaning: Go easy on me.